Friday, August 04, 2006
some things i hate about myself
so here's this attitude of mine that i dont like.. i know its wrong.. it's wrong to expect of others and expect something in return for what you did.. it's also wrong to compare yourself to others.. so that's why i dont like my attitude of expecting others to act like me.. cause that's also quite impossible.. two people can't be the same.. and i'm also a unique person, i differ much from others, so it's quite hard to find another person the same as me..its complicated..so here's a situation where i think this way.. for example, i greet someone on her birthday, but when she forgets to greet me on my birthday, i'd feel bad and think, why can't she be more thoughtful like me? as selfish as it sounds, that's how i am, i feel ashamed of myself when i think that way, i feel like a very awful and bad person.. well, i don't know, this is my alter ego talking.. the serious me.. i hate my alter ego..but i think my conscience is associated with my alter ego, because just a while ago, when i was my usual happy self in school, i blurted out something which was actually quite wrong, this is another thing i hate about myself, so, i realized it was wrong and my mind switched to my alter ego, where i believe is where my conscience is.. i hated myself then for blurting that thought out, but i can't take it back then, so after that, i was again back to my usual self, am i weird or what? about my two personalities? read my next entry..
some things i hate about myselfso here's this attitude of mine that i dont like.. i know its wrong.. it's wrong to expect of others and expect something in return for what you did.. it's also wrong to compare yourself to others.. so that's why i dont like my attitude of expecting others to act like me.. cause that's also quite impossible.. two people can't be the same.. and i'm also a unique person, i differ much from others, so it's quite hard to find another person the same as me..its complicated..so here's a situation where i think this way.. for example, i greet someone on her birthday, but when she forgets to greet me on my birthday, i'd feel bad and think, why can't she be more thoughtful like me? as selfish as it sounds, that's how i am, i feel ashamed of myself when i think that way, i feel like a very awful and bad person.. well, i don't know, this is my alter ego talking.. the serious me.. i hate my alter ego..but i think my conscience is associated with my alter ego, because just a while ago, when i was my usual happy self in school, i blurted out something which was actually quite wrong, this is another thing i hate about myself, so, i realized it was wrong and my mind switched to my alter ego, where i believe is where my conscience is.. i hated myself then for blurting that thought out, but i can't take it back then, so after that, i was again back to my usual self, am i weird or what? about my two personalities? read my next entry..
jia..d' freakin' complicated girl..
7:01 PM
